Sometimes the mess isn’t the family.
Sometimes it’s what we carry into the family.
For October, we’re bringing a little family drama to TBGR.
Our Book of the Month is Leave Your Mess at Home by Tolani Akinola, a funny, tender, complicated story about four Nigerian American siblings, the family they come from, and the lives they’re trying to build for themselves.
And whew… these people are MESSY. 😂
Sola Longe returns to Chicago after a decade away, quietly trying to put her life back together after a very public downfall. Her siblings aren’t exactly thriving either. Anjola is wrestling with love and the expectations she’s placed on herself. Karen is figuring out her sexuality, identity, and what it means to become her own person. And Ola is questioning his marriage, fatherhood, and what it means to raise a Black son in America.
Then there’s Thanksgiving.
Four siblings. One table. Years of secrets and resentment.
You already know it’s about to be a ting. 😂
But beneath the drama, Akinola is asking some beautiful questions about family and belonging.
What do we owe the people who raised us?
What do we owe ourselves?
And can you love your family while still choosing yourself?
Why We’re Reading This One
October feels like a good month to talk about home.
Not just the physical place we come from, but the people, expectations, traditions, languages, memories, and stories that make up our understanding of home.
For many of us in the African and Caribbean diaspora, family can be both home and complicated.
We can love our people deeply and still need boundaries. We can honour our parents and still question their expectations. We can carry our culture proudly while figuring out which parts belong to us, and which parts we want to leave behind.
And sometimes, becoming ourselves means making peace with the fact that we are not obligated to live the exact life someone else imagined for us.
That’s the conversation we’re bringing to TBGR this month.
As You Read…
Think about:
- What does your family expect from you?
- What does belonging mean to you?
- Can you choose yourself without abandoning your family?
- Which parts of your family’s story have shaped who you are?
- What does forgiveness actually require?
- Is there such a thing as unconditional love with boundaries?
And perhaps the biggest question:
What mess are you carrying that isn’t actually yours?
📖 Meeting Date: Thursday, October 29 at 7 pm eastern, Online
REGISTER HERE!!
🤎 Themes: Family, identity, belonging, immigration, sibling relationships, sexuality, relationships, forgiveness, culture, expectations, and self-discovery.
Come ready to laugh. Come ready to side-eye. Come ready to ask some uncomfortable questions. And most importantly, come ready to talk about the mess.
Because at TBGR, we don’t need our books, or our lives, to be perfectly tidy.
We just need somewhere safe to put the pages down and talk about what they brought up.
Happy reading, book family. 🤎📚
